Successfully Miserable

I posted this on Face Book last week and was wanting a reaction that did not come.

I guess I was wanting some attention.

I was wanting someone to ask me what I meant by that. A response didn’t come until my wife asked me.
What I assumed was obvious to me hurt her. Something I never intended at all!

I’d heard this mentioned on a recently new podcast I was listening to at work and it was like someone had hit me in the head!

That’s exactly how I feel about my job. I have a job but it’s not what I was meant to do. I make great money and benefits but it isn’t what I’m on this earth to do.

My wife took it as me me being miserable at home which isn’t the case whatsoever. I hurt her deeply and she and I talked about it and she explained how that statement affected her.

She wanted to know what I wanted to do and would/could it be profitable. What would make me happy.

I told her that I wanted to be a blogger, writer, podcaster and speaker.

We discussed this plan and I told her it wouldn’t happen until we were debt free.

I know I can do most of this right now which is why I took my name off the off day overtime list at my work so I would at least get one day off a week to blog and write.

I would love to start podcasting at least on my own to get the feel for it. What I would speak on is still up in the air.

I love helping people and making people laugh. However transferring that into my writing is difficult for me right now so I was thinking of a video podcast so people could see my facial expressions and my sarcasm.

I have started a book but editing it is proving to be difficult since our computer is broken and all I have is my iPhone and ITouch.

I do like my job but in most cases it’s the people that drive me crazy!! Almost everyone tells me when I say hello is, “I want to go home already.” or “Is it time to go home yet?” And this is in the first five minutes of work! Are you kidding me! You dislike this job so much that you say that! Quit! Do something different! But until then work and be grateful that you are employed!!

I’m truly grateful that I have my job and love that I’m providing a vital service to the ones that I serve.

But as I said before I’m successfully miserable because it’s not what I was meant to do; however I will work as hard as humanly possible to provide the service I was sworn in to perform and give 110% every time I’m at work!!

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4 thoughts on “Successfully Miserable

  1. The struggle to provide and the struggle to pursue your purpose can feel overwhelming sometimes and my husband and I are walking a similar path. He is grateful for his job and the benefits and that it provides for our needs, but….

    But it is not where is passion lies. It is not what he was gifted to do. It is not what brings his heart joy.

    And so, like you, he is working on his dream in the non-work hours and trying to balance that with what his family, especially his little girls, need from him.

    I pray that God will guide you along your path and I am glad that your words that initially brought hurt to your wife’s heart have created opportunity to talk about your dreams. May you continue to walk together in the direction God calls you.

    You can do this. I believe in you, friend!

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